If you have recently noticed a guy touch your lower back then you’re probably wondering why he did it and what it might mean.
This post will try to help you figure out why a guy might touch your lower back or put his arm around your lower back and to make sense of it as it happens in the future.
So, what does it mean when a guy touches your lower back? Possible causes of a guy putting his arm around your lower back are that he is attracted to you, he is consoling you, being protective, seeing how you react to it or mirroring your own behavior.
Since there are a number of reasons why a guy might touch your lower back it is important to consider the other body language signals that he showed when he did it and the signals he shows when he is with you.
By doing so you will be able to get a better idea of the motivations behind why he did it.
Possible reasons a guy will touch your lower back
Each of the different reasons why a guy might touch or put his arm around your lower back will likely come with a number of different body language clues.
Below, I will mention a number of reasons why a guy might do it and the body language signals to look for with them.
He finds you attractive
If a guy touches or puts his arm around your lower back it would usually be a strong signal that he finds you attractive.
If he does find you attractive then it would be likely that he would show a number of other signs of attraction in his body language.
They can include:
- Having dilated pupils when talking to you
- Holding eye contact with you for longer than usual
- Speaking with a deeper voice when he’s with you
- Touching you more than others
- Talking to you more than others
- Glancing at you and looking away quickly or smiling when you notice
- Pointing his feet at you even when he’s not directly in front of you
- Showing signs of nervousness when with you
- Blinking frequently
- Getting anxious when you’re with other men
- Being defensive when other men are around
- A lack of negative signals like crossing the arms, squinting, tight lips or a clenched jaw
- Asking friends about you
- Taking a stance that highlights his crotch area
- Adjusting his clothing or hair when he sees you
When people are trying to dominate others and to show that they are the leader of the group they will often touch other people in the group.
This could be why he touched your lower back.
If he was doing it due to being dominant it could also be the case that he also finds you attractive in which case he would likely show a number of the signs of attraction mentioned above as well.
Other signs of dominating behavior include:
- Taking up lots of space
- Putting his hands and legs on things that aren’t his
- Standing and sitting in a way that makes him appear bigger
- Tight lips
- Tightening of the eyebrows
- Clenched jaw
- Speaking over people
- Interrupting people
- Talking loudly with a deeper voice
He’s consoling you
Sometimes people will put their arm around another person’s back when they are trying to console them.
If you were sad at the time and you were showing signs of being sad in your body language at the time then it could be the reason that he did it.
He wants more than just a friendship
If you have been friends with him for a while and he hasn’t done it before then it could be the case that he was trying to show you that he’s attracted to you.
If that is why he did it then he would likely have been showing numerous signs of attraction that you haven’t picked up on. Also, since he hasn’t overtly said that he likes you yet he probably would show signs of nervousness when he is around you.
He wants to see how you’ll react
It might also be the case that he finds you attractive but he is unsure of whether or not you find him attractive and he wanted to see if you would react positively.
If that is why he did it then he probably would have seemed nervous when he did it and he would likely show signs of attraction when he is with you.
He’s being protective
Sometimes men will put their arms around a women’s back when they are trying to be protective.
It would be more likely that he did this to you if he did it when there was some uncertainty about the situation. For example, he might have done it while you were both walking through a crowd.
He’s mirroring you
When people are trying to fit in with a group of people they will often begin to mirror their behaviors.
If you have touched his lower back in the past and you both tend to hang around the same people it could be that he was mirroring your own behavior.
Mirroring can also be a sign of attraction. If he does find you attractive he would likely show a number of the signs of attraction mentioned in the first section.
If he was mirroring you then he would likely mirror a number of your other behaviors such as:
- Your facial gestures
- Your smile
- Laughing when you laugh
- Talking at a similar pitch and speed as you
- Standing and sitting in a similar way as you
- Walking in a similar way as you
- Mirroring your hand gestures
Consider his normal behavior
When trying to make sense of a person’s body language it would be helpful to know what their normal body language looks like.
If they tend to touch other people then at most it would suggest that he has a dominant personality or perhaps that he is overly friendly. Unless he showed other body language signals that were unusual when he touched your lower back it wouldn’t be as useful to you.
Whereas, if it’s not something that he would ordinarily do to other people then it would suggest that he did it to you due to one of the reasons mentioned above.
Consider when and where he did it
The timing of when he touched your lower back and the location that it happened in would also be a useful thing to think about.
If he did it when you were both alone together and his body language changed slightly when he did it then it would be more likely that he did it due to attraction.
Whereas, if he did it when there were a lot of people around then it would be more likely that he was being dominant or he thought he was being protective.
Think about your relationship with him
The type of relationship that you have with him would also be something that would be worth thinking about.
If you have been dating him then it would be likely that he was trying to move things further between you both on a physical level.
If he has been your friend for a while and he hasn’t touched you before it would be more likely that he was trying to show you that he doesn’t want to be just friends.
If you haven’t met him before then it would be more likely that he either has a dominating personality or that he found you attractive or both.
It’s important to remember that in all of those cases it is still important to consider the other body language signals that they show when doing it.
What does it mean when a friend touches your lower back? If he is your friend then he might have an overly friendly personality that involves touching his friends, he might have been trying to be more than just friends, he might have been mirroring your behavior or he might have been trying to be protective. It’s important to consider the other body language signals that he showed when he did it.
What does it mean when a guy always touches your lower back? If a guy always touches your lower back then it would be likely that he has a dominating personality or that he finds you attractive or both. You should consider the other body language signals that he shows when doing it.
If you want to learn more about body language, a book I would recommend would be The Definitive Book of Body Language (on Amazon). It shows you how to interpret body language and understand people's true intentions.