If your boyfriend has been talking about another girl then you’re probably wondering why and what it might mean.
This post will show you why he might have been talking about another girl.
So, what does it mean when your boyfriend talks about another girl? It could be that he is insecure, trying to make you jealous or it could be a sign that he is cheating. He might also say it because he considers her a friend and he doesn’t realize he is upsetting you.
Since there are a number of reasons why your boyfriend might talk about another girl it is important to consider the context of how he talks about her and the body language that he shows when he does.
By doing so you’ll be able to get a better understanding of the motivations that he has behind talking about her.
Reasons why your boyfriend might talk about another girl
Each of the different reasons why your boyfriend will talk about another girl will likely come with a number of clues in his body language and behavior.
Below, I will mention a number of reasons why your boyfriend might talk about another girl and the body language and behavior signs that you can expect to see with them.
The reason that he might talk about other girls is that he is actually insecure about himself and your relationship.
The reason that talking about other girls can suggest that he is insecure is that it suggests that he is saying it because he wants you to become emotional because of it and to make him feel like your scared of losing him.
If he does talk about other girls because he is insecure about the relationship then it would be likely that the girl doesn’t actually exist, that you have never met her or that he greatly exaggerates what he has done with her.
It would also be likely that he would show other signs of being insecure which could include:
- Being very controlling
- Not being able to trust you
- Talking about his exes a lot
- He accuses you of cheating
- He often asks validating questions such as “Do you love me?”
- He wants to see your phone often
He is cheating
The reason that he talks about another girl could be that he is cheating with her.
The fact that he talks about her would actually make this less likely. This is because if he were to actually be cheating then it would be likely that he would do what he can to hide it from you.
However, if it is because he is cheating on you then it would be likely that he would show a number of other signs of it.
Signs that he might show in his body language could include:
- Getting angry when you ask him about what he has been up to
- Not answering questions related to what he has been doing and giving you a vague answer
- Trying to change the subject when talking about what he has been up to
- Showing signs of getting anxious when talking about what he has been up
- Rubbing his arms, face, legs or neck or scratching his neck when talking about what he has been doing
- He tries to avoid being seen with you when he is around certain people or he shows signs of being anxious when you are both around certain people
- He has tight lips when talking about other people
- Crossing his arms when talking about what he has been doing
- Wrapping his feet around his chair when he is talking about what he has been doing
- Coughing and/or having a dry mouth when talking about what he has been up to
- Showing forced smiles where he only smiles at the mouth and doesn’t crease beside the eyes
- Showing contradictory body language such as nodding and saying no at the same time
- Touching his mouth shortly after saying what he has been up to
- Accusing you of cheating
- Getting jealous when you hang out with other men
In addition, if he has been cheating then it would be likely that he would change his routine in certain ways as well.
These changes could include:
- Working more
- Staying out longer
- Going out at times that he usually wouldn’t
- Going out later in the evening more often
It would also be likely that he would change his behavior in certain ways as well.
These changes could include:
- Suddenly wanting more privacy
- Not letting you see his phone and hiding it
- Taking more care of the way that he looks
- Working out when he previously wouldn’t
- Not taking as much of an interest in you as he previously would
He considers her a friend and doesn’t realize he’s upsetting you
It might actually be the case that he just considers her a friend or an acquaintance and that he doesn’t realize that you don’t like it when he talks about her.
If this is the case then it would be likely that he would not be cheating with her or that he is doing it due to any other negative reason either. It would also be likely that he would show his normal body language and behavior when he talks about her.
He wants to see your reaction
The reason that he talks about another girl might be that he wants to see the way that you react to it.
He might want to see your reaction because he is insecure and he wants to feel like you don’t want to lose him. If this is why he does it then it would be likely that he would also show other signs of being insecure such as those mentioned in the first section.
Alternatively, he might be thinking of cheating and saying it to gauge how you would react if he were to actually do it. If that is the case then it would also be likely that he would show a number of the behaviors mentioned in the section above about cheating.
He wants to make you jealous
The reason that he talks about another girl to you could be that he is trying to make you jealous and to feel like he has other options.
The reason that he wants you to feel jealous could be to get reassurance that you want to be with him. Again, if this is the case then it would be likely that he would also show signs of insecurity around you as well.
Another reason that he might do it to make you jealous is that he is being controlling and it is his way of getting you to do things that he wants.
Consider how he reacts to seeing you
When trying to understand the way that he feels about you observing the way that he initially reacts to seeing you would likely be a very useful thing to do.
The way that he changes his body language and behavior when he initially sees you would likely give you a number of strong clues about the way that he feels about you.
If he reacts to seeing you by raising his eyebrows and smiling, uncrossing his arms, holding eye contact with you without squinting or frowning, sitting more upright, his pupils dilate, he makes space for you and he points his feet at you then it would be a positive sign. In this case, it would be more likely that he doesn’t realize that you don’t like him talking about the other girl.
Whereas, if he reacts to seeing you by crossing his arms and legs, squinting, tightening his lips, tightening his eyebrows, tensing his jaw and rubbing his face, arms, legs or neck then it would suggest that he talks about the other girl for a negative reason.
Consider when he talks about her
The timing of when he talks about her would also be a useful thing to consider.
If he talks about her at random times and he shows normal body language then it would be more likely that he is doing it naturally without realizing that you don’t like it.
Whereas, if he only seems to talk about her when you’re arguing or when he seems to be feeling insecure then it would be more likely that he mentions her on purpose for a more manipulative reason.
Consider multiple aspects of his body language
When trying to understand what he might be suggesting with his body language it would be helpful to consider multiple aspects of it at the same time.
If he shows a single body language sign of one thing such as insecurity then it wouldn’t be a sure thing that he is showing it because of insecurity since he might be showing that sign for a number of other reasons.
Whereas, if he shows multiple signs of insecurity it would be much more likely that he is showing them for that reason.
Consider how he behaves when you’re around her
The way that he behaves when you are around her would also likely be a useful thing to consider.
If he shows his normal body language and behavior when you are both around her then it would be much less likely that he does it for any manipulative reason or that he is cheating and more likely that he doesn’t realize that it annoys you.
Whereas, if he tries to avoid letting you talk to her and he becomes anxious when you’re both near each other it would be much more likely that he talks about her for a more negative reason.
If you want to learn more about body language, a book I would recommend would be The Definitive Book of Body Language (on Amazon). It shows you how to interpret body language and understand people's true intentions.