If your boyfriend recently called you dear then you’re probably wondering why and what he meant by it.

This post will help you understand why your boyfriend might have called you dear.

So, what does it mean when your boyfriend calls you dear? He might say it because he considers it a normal thing for a guy to call his girlfriend. He might also say it because it’s a normal thing to say in his culture, he is being defensive, he wants to see your reaction or he is being condescending.

Since there are a number of reasons why your boyfriend might call you dear it is important to consider the context of how he said it and the body language that he showed.

By doing so you’ll be able to get a better understanding of the motivations that he had behind calling you dear.

Reasons why your boyfriend will call you dear

Each of the different reasons why your boyfriend will call you dear will likely come with a number of clues in his body language and behavior.

Below, I will mention a number of reasons why your boyfriend might call you dear and that behavior and body language signs that you can expect to see with them.

He considers it normal for a boyfriend to call his girlfriend dear

Dear is a term of endearment that boyfriends will often say to their girlfriends when talking to them. The reason that he calls you dear could be that he considers it a normal thing for a boyfriend to call his girlfriend.

If that is why he calls you dear then it would be more likely that he would only call you dear, he would call you dear often and when showing his normal body language and behavior.

He’s from a culture where it’s normal to call people dear

In some cultures, such as the United Kingdom, it is normal to call the opposite sex dear when talking to them.

The reason that he calls you dear could be that he is from one of these cultures and it is a normal thing for him to call women.

If that is why he calls you dear then it would also be likely that he would actually say it to other women as well since it’s a culturally normal thing to say to all women.

Even if he is from a culture where it’s common to say dear he might say it to you for a different reason so you should consider if he changes his body language and behavior when he calls you dear.

He wants to see your reaction

The reason that he called you dear might be that he wanted to see how you would react.

The reason that he wanted to see how you would react could be that he is comfortable with you but he’s not sure if you’re comfortable with him. This could have caused him to call you dear to see if you would react positively and possibly say something similar back.

If that is why he said it then it would be likely that he would only say it to you and that he would also ask you other questions related to how you feel about him and the relationship.

He’s being defensive

If he only calls you dear at certain times then it might be the case that he says it when he is being defensive.

If he does only call you dear when he is being defensive then it could also be a sign that he has something to hide. If he does have something to hide then it would be likely that he would show other signs of being anxious at the same time as well.

These signs could include:

  • Rubbing his neck, arms, face or legs
  • Blinking more frequently
  • Talking at a higher pitch
  • Coughing
  • Changing the subject
  • Accusing you of things
  • Dry mouth

He’s being condescending

The reason that he called you dear could be that he was being condescending.

If he was being condescending then it would be more likely that he would have said it when disagreeing with you, with a sarcastic tone or after you had just made a suggestion.

If he did call you dear because he was being condescending then it would be likely that he would show other signs of condescending behavior which could include:

  • Smirking at you while you’re making a suggestion
  • Not taking what you have to say seriously
  • Crossing his arms when you’re talking
  • Not including you in discussions
  • Having tight lips when you’re talking

He’s comfortable in the relationship

The reason that he calls you dear could be that he is happy with how the relationship is going and he is trying to show it by calling you dear.

If he does call you dear because he is trying to show that he is very happy with you then it would be more likely that the relationship is slightly older.

It would also be likely that he would show numerous signs of attraction around you which could include:

  • Mirroring your body language
  • Having dilated pupils when he is with you
  • Touching you a lot
  • Standing close to you when talking to you
  • Holding prolonged eye contact with you
  • A lack of negative signs such as squinting, tightening the lips or tensing the jaw when looking at you
  • Touching your feet with his feet
  • Pointing his feet at you
  • Making plans based on yours

Consider how old your relationship is

The age of the relationship will likely have an impact on the possible reasons that he called you dear.

If he has not been your boyfriend for a long time then the reason that he called you dear could either be that he considers it a normal thing for a boyfriend to call his girlfriend or he wanted to see your reaction.

Whereas, if he has been your boyfriend for a while then it would be more likely that he calls you dear because he feels comfortable with you.

Consider the way that he reacts to seeing you

When trying to understand how he feels about you it would be helpful to consider the way that he reacts to seeing you.

If he changes his body language to a more positive looking stance or if he changes it to a more negative looking stance then it would tell you a lot about his feelings about you.

If he reacts to seeing you by uncrossing his legs and arms, raising his eyebrows and smiling, his pupils dilate, he adjusts his hair or clothing, he holds eye contact with you and he points his feet at you then it would be a positive sign and likely that he is comfortable with you.

Whereas, if he points his feet away from you, crosses his arms, squints, tightens the lips, shows a non-genuine smile where he doesn’t crease beside the eyes and he tightens the jaw then it would be a negative sign.

Consider multiple body language signs

When trying to understand why he calls you dear it would be helpful to consider multiple aspects of his body language.

If he only shows one body language sign of something then it would be hard to tell if he is actually feeling a certain way since single body language signs can have many different meanings.

Whereas, if he shows multiple body language signs of something then it would be more likes that he is showing them for that reason.

Consider when he calls you dear

The timing of when he calls you dear would also be a useful thing to consider.

If he calls you dear a lot and he usually does it when he is feeling normal then it would be more likely that he feels comfortable in the relationship and that he considers it a normal thing to say.

Whereas, if he only calls you dear at certain times such as when talking about a certain subject then it would be a sign that the subject makes him get anxious for some reason.

Related

What does it mean when your boyfriend calls you my dear? It’s likely to be that he is trying to show that he is happy with you assuming that he also shows positive body language around you. It might also be that he is being condescending, defensive or that he wanted to see how you would react.

If you want to learn more about body language, a book I would recommend would be The Definitive Book of Body Language (on Amazon). It shows you how to interpret body language and understand people's true intentions.

Author

I created and currently manage Body Language Central, one of the premier sources for body language-related knowledge. Body language plays a key role in our daily lives. I hope that my website can help condense the wide amount of body language information available and allow you to make full use of it in your daily life. You can read more about me and my website here.