If you have recently noticed a guy touching you on the neck you’re probably wondering what it meant.
In this post, I will try to help you figure out why he might have touched you on the neck and to help you to make sense of it as it happens in the future.
So, why might a guy touch your neck? It would often signal that he finds you attractive especially if he is showing other body language signals of attraction, he only touches your neck, he does it while alone with you and he does it often. He might also be trying to emphasize what he’s saying, acting in a dominating way or he might be mirroring your own behavior.
Since there are a number of reasons why a guy might touch you on the neck it is important to consider the body language signals that he shows when he does it.
By doing so you’ll be able to get a better idea of the motivations behind why he touched your neck.
Reasons a guy might touch your neck
Each of the different reasons a guy might touch your neck will likely come with a number of different body language signals.
Below, I will mention a number of reasons why a guy might touch you on the neck along with the body language signals to look for.
There is a good chance that the reason that he touched you on the neck is that he is attracted to you.
The likelihood that it is why he did it would be higher if he did it at a time when you were both alone together.
If he is attracted to you then it would be likely that he would show other signs of attraction in his body language such as:
- Asking friends about you
- Pupil dilation
- Touching you more than others
- Talking to you more than others
- Holding eye contact with you for longer than normal
- Showing signs of nervousness when talking to you
- A lack of squinting, crossing the arms, jaw tension or tight lips
- Standing close to you
- Talking with a deeper voice than normal
- Glancing your way often and quickly looking away when you notice
- Adjusting his clothing or hair when he notices you
- Getting anxious when you’re around other men
- Getting defensive when other men are around
- Pointing his feet at you even when he’s not talking to you
He wants to be more than just friends
If you have been friends with him for a while and he hasn’t touched you on the neck before then it would be likely that he was trying to show you that he wants to be more than just friends with you.
If that is why he did it then it would be likely that he has been showing a number of the body language signals of attraction mentioned above for a while but you just haven’t picked up on them.
It would also be likely that he is too nervous to actually ask for more than just a friendship with you. With that being the case it would be likely that he would also show signs of being nervous when with you.
These signs can include:
- Frequently blinking
- Rubbing the eyes
- Rubbing the face, legs, neck or arms
- Tapping the fingers or feet
- Speaking at a higher pitch
- Speaking with an upwards inflection where he goes higher pitched at the end of saying things
- Struggling to hold eye contact
He wants to see your reaction
It could be that he finds you attractive but he is unsure of how you feel about him.
If that is the case then he might have touched you on the neck to see if you would be welcoming of his advances or not.
If that is why he did it then he would likely show a number of the signals of attraction mentioned already. He would also likely have appeared to have had an observant body language when he touched you on the neck.
When a person is trying to get other people to do things for him or to accept him as their leader the person will often touch people more often.
The reason that the guy touched you could be that he wanted to show you that he is in charge.
If that was the case then it would be likely that he did it at the same time as telling you to do something or when he was making some kind of a declarative statement.
If he was being dominating then he would likely show other signs of dominating body language.
These can include:
- Talking more loudly with a deeper voice
- Speaking over people
- Interrupting people
- Positioning himself in the middle of people
- Taking up lots of space
- Taking a stance that makes him appear bigger
- Putting his arms and legs on things that aren’t his
- Touching people often
- Tight lips
- Clenching of the jaw
- Tightening of the eyebrows
It could also be the case that he also finds you attractive. If he does then he would likely also show signs of attraction.
To emphasize a point
He might have touched you on the neck in order to emphasize something that he was saying.
If that was why he did it then he would likely have also been talking about something that he feels emotional about. It would also be more likely to be the reason if he was telling you about something that had just happened that he thinks you would also find interesting.
If it is why he did it then he would also have likely had wide-open eyes, he would have been talking faster than normal, he may have been taking shorter breaths, he could have been leaning into you and might have had an open mouth when staring at you after saying something.
he might have done it due to being from a culture where it is common for people to touch each other while talking.
If he is from one of these cultures then it could be that it is how he normally communicates with people. If you think that this is why he did it then consider if he also touches other people when he is talking to them.
It could still be the case that he did it for a different reason so he might have shown other body language signals that would suggest otherwise.
It was an accident
He might have done it unintentionally.
If that is why he did it then he would likely have taken his hand away quickly and might have apologized.
When a person is trying to fit in with a certain group of people they will often mirror their body language.
If you both tend to hang around with the same people and if you have touched him on the neck in the past then he might be mirroring your behavior.
If he was mirroring your body language then he might mirror other things as well.
These can include:
- Walking at a similar speed as you
- Talking at a similar speed and pitch as you
- Mirroring your hand gestures
- Mirroring your stance (ie hands on hips, hands in the pockets, etc)
- Copying your smile
- Laughing when you do
Consider your relationship with him
When trying to figure out why he did it, thinking about your relationship with him would likely be helpful.
If he is your boss then it would be more likely that he did it since he thinks that it would encourage you to do something. However, he might also have done it due to attraction so you should consider the body language signals that he shows when you’re interacting with him.
If he is your friend and he has been for a while then he might secretly find you attractive and he wanted to see if you like him in that way as well. If that is why he did it then he would likely have
If you hadn’t met him before then it would make it more likely that he was either trying to show that he’s attracted to you and that he wanted to see how you’d react or he might have a dominating personality or both. If you hadn’t met him before it would be important to consider the other body language gestures that he showed.
Think about when and where he did it
The timing and the location that it happened in would also be something that would be helpful to think about.
If he did it when you were both alone together and he also spoke more quietly and slowly when he did it then it would be a lot more likely that he was showing attraction to you.
If it was in a business setting when telling you to do something then it would be much more likely to have been dominating behavior.
Think about his normal behavior
When trying to make sense of what a person’s body language might be suggesting it would be helpful to consider what his normal behavior looks like.
If he normally touches people and he didn’t show unusual body language signals when he touched you then it would not be a strong indication that he did it for any particular reason.
However, if it’s not something that he would normally do then it would be a stronger suggestion that he did it for one of the reasons already mentioned. It would also be helpful for you to consider the other body language signals that he was showing out of the norm when he did it.
If you want to learn more about body language, a book I would recommend would be The Definitive Book of Body Language (on Amazon). It shows you how to interpret body language and understand people's true intentions.