If a guy talks quietly to you, you’re probably wondering why he does it and what it might mean.
This post will help you figure out why he might be talking to you quietly and to make sense of it as it happens in the future.
So, what does it mean when a guy talks quietly to you? Possible causes of a guy talking quietly to you are that he is attracted to you, being submissive, mirroring you or he might do it because he wants to talk to you alone.
Since there are a number of reasons why a guy might talk quietly to you it would be helpful to consider the context of how it happens and the body language that he shows.
By doing so you’ll be able to get a better idea of the motivations that he has behind talking to you with a quiet voice.
Reasons why a guy will talk to you with a quiet voice
Each of the different reasons why a guy will talk to you with a quiet voice will likely come with a number of clues in his body language.
Below, I will mention a number of reasons why a guy will talk to you in a quiet voice and the body language signals that you should expect to see with them.
He’s attracted to you
If he only seems to speak to you with a quiet voice and his body language seems to be different around you then it would be possible that he does it due to being attracted to you.
If he does do it due to being attracted to you it would be likely that he would show it in his body language and behavior in a number of different ways.
These ways can include:
- Having dilated pupils when talking to you
- Pointing his feet at you even when he is to your side
- Mirroring your body language
- Looking at your lips
- Touching you often
- Holding prolonged eye contact with you
- Asking your friends about you
- Showing signs of nervousness around you
- Showing signs of being anxious when you’re talking to other men
- Standing close to you when talking to you
- Staying in your general area when in a group
He’s being submissive
It could be the case that he speaks to you in a quiet voice because he was being submissive.
It could be that he feels like you are threatening towards him or it might be due to someone else that he is uncomfortable being around at the same time.
If he was being submissive then it would be likely that he would show it in his body language in other ways which can include:
- Laughing a lot
- Looking down
- Struggling to maintain eye contact
- Speaking at a higher pitch
- Making the body appear small
- Showing vulnerable areas like the palms
The reason that he speaks quietly to you could be that he is nervous.
The reason that he is nervous could be because he is attracted to you. If he is then it would be likely that he would show signs of attraction in a number of other ways in his body language.
Alternatively, it might be the case that he feels nervous due to another person in the room.
If he is nervous then it would be likely that he would show a number of other signs of being nervous such as:
- Rubbing the arms, face, upper legs or neck
- Touching or scratching the neck
- Tapping the fingers or feet
- Quivering below the eyes or mouth
- Licking the lips
- Having a dry mouth
- Breathing more quickly
He’s mirroring you
The reason that he talks quietly around you might actually be because you talk quietly to him.
When a guy is trying to fit in with the people around him he will actually, subconsciously, mirror their behavior and body language.
This means that if you speak quietly and you hang out with the same people then it could be the case that he’s mirroring you.
If he is then it could also be a sign that he is attracted to you in which case he would show other signs of attracting in his body language.
If he was mirroring you then it would be likely that he would mirror you in other ways as well which can include:
- Talking at a similar pitch and speed as you
- Mirroring your facial gestures
- Mirroring your smile
- Mirroring your hand gestures
- Standing and sitting with a similar stance as you
He wants to be able to talk to you alone
If he does it in an environment where there are other people present then it could be the case that he does it so that he can talk to just you.
This could also be a sign that he is attracted to you. Again, if he is, then it would be likely that he would show it in his body language in other ways.
He wants to be more than just friends
If he has been your friend for a while then it could be a sign that he wants more than just a friendship with you.
If he does then it would be likely that he has been showing it in his body language in other ways but you haven’t picked up on it.
It would be especially likely that he would get anxious when you’re with other men, get nervous around you and that he would have dilated pupils while talking to you.
Consider how deeply he speaks when he does it
If, when he talks to you quietly, he also talks with a deeper voice it would indicate that he is attracted to you. This is because men will often speak to women that they like with a deeper voice because it emphasizes that they are abundant in testosterone.
Whereas, if he talks to you quietly with a higher-pitched voice it would make it more likely that he is being submissive or nervous. It still might be the case that he does it due to being attracted to you so you should consider the other body language signals that he shows when he does it.
Consider who else is around
The people around you might actually be the ones that are causing him to talk quietly.
If you notice that he talks quietly only when a specific person or group of people are in the room then it would be likely that it is being caused by them. You should consider how his body language changes when they are around to figure out the exact reason. It would be likely that he doesn’t like them or that he feels nervous around them.
If he only does it when you are both alone together then it would make it a lot more likely that he does it because of being attracted to you. It could also be the case that he gets nervous around you in which case he would show it in his body language.
Consider your relationship with him
When trying to understand why he speaks quietly around you it would be helpful to think about the relationship that you have with him.
If you have been dating him for a while then it would make it more likely that he is attracted to you and possibly that he wants to move the relationship further. Alternatively, he might actually be wanting to end the relationship.
It would be necessary to consider if he is showing positive or negative signals around you. You should especially look to see if his pupils are dilated or constricted around you and if he points his feet towards you or away from you.
If he has been your friend for a while then it would make it more likely that he secretly has a crush on you provided he also shows other body language signals of attraction. Alternatively, it could be that he doesn’t like one of your friends.
If it was a guy that you hadn’t met before then it could be the case that he was attracted to you and he was trying to talk to only you.
Consider his normal behavior
It would also be helpful to be aware of the way that he interacts with other women.
If you notice that he tends to talk to other women with a quiet voice and he doesn’t change his body language around you then it would be more likely that he naturally speaks more quietly. It could be that he has a shy personality. It would be helpful to consider what his other body language signals suggest about how he is feeling.
If you notice that he doesn’t speak quietly to other women and he does change his body language around you then it would be likely that he is doing it due to attraction, nervousness, submission, mirroring or a mixture of multiple reasons. You should consider if he shows positive or negative signals around you.
Think about multiple signals
When trying to figure out why he might talk to you quietly it would be helpful to look at multiple body language signals at a time.
Usually, single body language signals have multiple different possible meanings. This means that drawing conclusions based on single body language signals is often unreliable.
Whereas, if he shows multiple body language signals that all suggest the same thing then it would allow you to make a much more reliable conclusion about how he might be feeling.
Why is an outgoing guy quiet around me? It could be that he is attracted to you and it actually makes him feel nervous. Alternatively, he might feel uncomfortable around you or your friends. It would be necessary to consider how his body language is different when he is around you.
If you want to learn more about body language, a book I would recommend would be The Definitive Book of Body Language (on Amazon). It shows you how to interpret body language and understand people's true intentions.