If a guy keeps going hot and cold, this post will show you likely reasons why and what would make them more likely.
So, what does it mean when a guy goes hot and cold? Likely reasons why a guy would go hot and cold are that he is seeing other people, he thinks you are not interested in him, he is doing it on purpose, or that his mood changes a lot.
There are a number of possible reasons why a guy will go hot and cold. However, there are some things you can consider to help figure out the main reason.
What does it mean when a guy goes hot and cold?
Below are likely reasons why a guy will do it and what would make them more likely.
He is seeing other people
The cause could be that he is seeing other women. This would be more likely if you have seen him with other women, he often hesitates to agree to meeting up with you or he has said that he is seeing other women.
He thinks you are not interested in him
It could also be the case that he thinks that you are not interested in him yourself. This would be more likely if he tends to go cold after you would show a lack of interest in him or after you argued with him.
He is doing it on purpose
Sometimes, guys will go hot and cold on purpose to make you think about them more and to get you to try and chase their validation. It could be the case that he has been doing it to you on purpose. This would be more likely if he does show interest in you eventually.
In this case, it would also be likely that he would show interest in you, in his body language, by doing things such as:
- Pupil dilation when talking to you
- Pointing his feet towards you
- Talking to you more than others
- Asking your friends about you
- Maintaining a longer duration of eye contact
- Touching you the most
- Mirroring your body language and behavior
- Standing at a closer proximity to you
- Following you around
- Giving lots of glances your way
- Speaking with a deeper voice than normal around you
- Getting anxious when you’re with other men
His mood changes a lot
It could also be the case that he naturally has a lot of mood swings. This would be more likely if he also does it with his other friends and if he shows similar behavior and body language with his other friends as he does with you.
Things to consider
Below are some things to consider to help figure out the main reason.
The way he reacts when he sees you
To help figure out the way he feels about you, it would help to consider the way he reacts when he sees you.
If he reacts to seeing you by doing things such as:
- Adjusting his appearance
- Holding eye contact with you
- Moving closer to you
- Adjusting his posture
- Facing towards you (especially with his feet)
It would be more likely that he is attracted to you.
Whereas, if he reacts by doing things such as:
- Avoiding eye contact
- Crossing his arms
- Moving away
- Tensing the jaw
Then it would be more likely that he is annoyed with you.
How he interacts with other people
It would also help to compare the way that he interacts with you with how he interacts with other people.
If he shows different body language with you than he does with his other friends and he does things such as look at you the most, stand nearest to you or get jealous when you talk to other men, it would be more likely he is attracted to you.
Whereas, if he interacts with you in the same way he does with his other friends, it would be more likely that he considers you a friend and he is not actually trying to be hot and cold.
When considering his body language, it would help to consider multiple signs at a time. The reason for this is that a single body language sign is not very reliable by itself. However, multiple signs that all suggest the same thing are a lot more reliable.
Is it worth seeing him?
If he seems to be going hot and cold on purpose, it is not likely that his behavior would improve after you were to enter a relationship with him. In that case, is it really worth trying to continue seeing him?
If you want to learn more about body language, a book I would recommend would be The Definitive Book of Body Language (on Amazon). It shows you how to interpret body language and understand people's true intentions.