If you have recently noticed that a guy avoids touching you then you might be wondering why that is.
This post will help you figure out why he has been avoiding touching you and help you to make sense of it as it happens in the future.
So, what does it mean when a guy avoids touching you? It might be that he is attracted to you but too nervous to touch you especially if he shows other signs of attraction around you. He might also be feeling sad, nervous in general, submissive, annoyed with you, he might think that you’re not interested in him or he might think that you don’t want to be touched.
Since there are a number of reasons why a guy will avoid touching you it is important to consider the body language signals that he shows you and the context of how he avoids touching you.
By doing so you’ll be able to get a more clear idea of why he has been avoiding touching you.
Reasons a guy will avoid touching you
Each of the different reasons why a guy will avoid touching you will likely come with a number of clues in his body language.
Below, I will mention a number of reasons why a guy will avoid touching you and the body language signals that you should expect to see with them.
He’s attracted to you
If it is just you that he avoids touching and his body language changes when he notices you then it could be the case that he does it because he is attracted to you.
The reason that he might be avoiding touching you if he is attracted to you could be that he either doesn’t want you to know that he’s attracted to you or that it makes him get nervous around you.
If he does get nervous around you due to being attracted to you then it would be likely that he would show signs of nervousness in his body language that I will mention a
If he is attracted to you then it would be likely that he would show it in his body language in ways such as:
- Having dilated pupils when talking to you
- Pointing his feet at you even if he is to your side
- Standing close to you when talking to you
- Getting anxious when you’re talking to other men
- Staring at you then looking away when you notice
- Holding prolonged eye contact with you
- Sitting up when he notices you
- Adjusting his hair or clothing when he notices you
- Positioning himself to be near you
- Asking you more questions that other people in the group
- Mirroring your body language
- Looking at you when laughing to see if you are as well
- Blinking more frequently when talking to you
- Looking at your lips when talking to you
- Asking your friends about you
- Making plans based on yours
He’s sad
If he normally touches you but he suddenly stopped doing it then it might be a sign that he was feeling sad.
If that was the reason then it would be likely that he would have had a sudden change in his body language and behavior and that recent events would have occurred that would cause him to be sad.
It would also be likely that he would have shown that he was sad in his body language by doing things such as:
- Looking down
- Drooping the body
- Self-hugging
- Flat vocal tone
- Trembling lip
- Being more quiet than usual
- A lack of smiling or laughing
He’s nervous
The reason that he avoids touching you could be that he is nervous around you.
It could be the case that the reason that he gets nervous around you is that he is attracted to you in which case he would show signs of attraction and nervousness in his body language.
It could be the case that he has some social anxiety in which case he would show signs of nervousness around others as well.
Alternatively, he might actually find you to be overly outgoing with him and it causes him to get nervous or he might think that you’re being judgemental or that you’ll react to what he says or does. If it is due to you then it would be less likely that he would show signs of nervousness around others.
If he does avoid touching you due to being nervous then it would be likely that he would show it in his body language in other ways by doing things such as:
- Self-hugging
- Rubbing parts of the body often such as the face, arms, legs, knees or neck
- Touching the neck
- Scratching the neck
- Tapping the feet and fingers
- Tucking his feet around his chair
- Locking the ankles together
- Wringing the hands
- A lack of eye contact
- Speaking at a higher pitch
- Speaking with an upwards inflection where he goes higher-pitched towards the ends of sentences
He’s being submissive
The reason that he avoids touching you could be that he is being submissive.
He might be acting submissive because he finds you threatening, he considers you as an authority figure or he feels threatened by the people that you hang out with.
If that is the case then it would be likely that he would show other submissive body language signals which can include:
- Avoiding eye contact
- Laughing with the mouth
- Pointing the feet away from you
- Making the body appear small
- Not making any large movements
- Showing vulnerable areas like the palms
- Talking with a higher pitch
He’s annoyed with you
It could be the case that he has been avoiding touching you because he is annoyed with you.
If that is why he has been avoiding touching you then it would be likely that he stopped doing it suddenly.
It would also be likely that a recent event would cause him to be annoyed with you. Perhaps you had an argument, you did something that he didn’t want you to or he suspects that you did.
If he is annoyed with you then there would often be some clear signs that he is in his body language and behavior which can include:
- Squinting at you when looking at you
- Crossing the arms and legs as soon as he notices you
- Staring at you when you’re not looking
- Having tight lips when you’re talking
- Distancing himself from you
- Shouting
- Tensing the jaw when you’re talking
- Tightening the eyebrows when you’re talking
- Avoiding eye contact with you
- Giving you short replies
He thinks that you don’t like him
The reason that he avoids touching you might be because he actually doesn’t think that you like him.
If that is the reason then it would be likely that something would have recently happened between you both that would give him that impression. Perhaps he was introduced to you and you came across as being aggressive towards him or perhaps you were mad when he first met you.
If he does think that you don’t like him then he might show signs of nervousness around you but it would be especially likely that he would show distancing behaviors.
He thinks that you don’t want to be touched
The reason that he doesn’t touch you could be that he doesn’t think that you want to be touched.
It could be the case that you haven’t shown him any signs that you would be ok with it or that you have and he hasn’t noticed.
It would be especially likely that he doesn’t think that you want to be touched if you have not touched him in the past.
If you do touch him a lot when you’re with him then it could be the case that he doesn’t touch you for one of the other reasons discussed in this post or he might just avoid touching everyone.
If he does think that you don’t like being touched then his body language could show numerous other signs that would depend on the way that he feels around you.
He likes you but he’s not interested
It could be the case that he does think you’re attractive but he avoids touching you because he isn’t interested in a relationship.
It could be because he has a girlfriend and he doesn’t want to cheat or he might just not be looking for one.
If that is the case then it would be likely that he would show signs of attraction in his body language but he would be less likely to respond to any signals that you show him.
Consider your relationship with him
When trying to figure out why he avoids touching you it would be helpful to consider the relationship that you have with him.
If you are his girlfriend or if you have been dating for a while and he used to touch you then it would be more likely that he’s either annoyed with you, sad or that he thinks you don’t want to be touched.
It would be necessary for you to consider the body language that he shows around you to figure out which reason it is.
If he has been your friend for a while then it would be more likely that he either thinks you don’t want to be touched, he’s attracted to you but he’s nervous and he doesn’t want you to know, he’s nervous in general, he’s sad or he might be annoyed with you.
It would be necessary for you to consider recent events that have happened between you both and the type of body language that he shows to figure out the exact reason.
Consider how he interacts with others
When trying to understand why he doesn’t touch you it would also be helpful to consider how he interacts with others.
If he doesn’t touch other people and his body language isn’t different when he is around you then it would be more likely that he doesn’t think that you want to be touched.
If he does seem to touch other people and his body language changes around you then it would be more likely that he’s attracted to you but nervous, nervous around you, being submissive, he’s annoyed with you, he thinks you don’t like him or that he thinks you don’t want to be touched. It would be necessary for you to consider how his body language changes to figure out the exact reason.
Think about who else is present when he does it
The reason that he doesn’t touch you might have a lot to do with other people.
It might be the case that he actually has a girlfriend in which case he would avoid touching you when she or her friends are present.
It would be helpful for you to consider who else is around if he seems to touch you sometimes but not all the time.
Consider his culture
It would also be worthwhile to consider the culture that he is from.
In a number of cultures, it is rare that people will touch each other. That could be the reason that he doesn’t touch you.
Even if he is from one of these cultures it would be necessary for you to consider the body language signals that he shows since it might be the case that he doesn’t do it for a different reason.
Look for clusters of body language
When trying to make sense of his body language look for multiple body language signals that can all mean the same thing.
Single body language signals can often have multiple different meanings which makes them less reliable to draw conclusions from.
Whereas, if he shows multiple body language signals that can all have a similar meaning then it would allow for you to come to a more reliable conclusion about how he is actually feeling.
If you want to learn more about body language, a book I would recommend would be The Definitive Book of Body Language (on Amazon). It shows you how to interpret body language and understand people's true intentions.