If you have recently noticed a guy squeeze your shoulders you’re probably wondering why and what it might mean.
This post will try to help you figure out why he might have squeezed your shoulder and to make sense of it when it happens in the future.
So, what does it mean when a guy squeezes your shoulders? It might be that he is attracted to you especially if he only squeezes your shoulders, he has done it on multiple occasions and he shows other signs of attraction. He might also be being dominant, mirroring you, emphasizing what he’s saying or trying to reassure you.
Since there are a number of reasons why a guy might squeeze your shoulders it is important to consider the context and the body language that he shows when he does it.
By doing so you’ll be able to get a better idea of the motivations he has behind doing it.
Reasons why a guy will squeeze your shoulders
Each of the different reasons a guy will squeeze your shoulders will likely come with a number of clues in his body language.
Below, I will mention a number of reasons why a guy might squeeze your shoulders and the body language signals to look for with them.
He’s attracted to you
If it seems to be the case that he only squeezes your shoulders then it would make it likely that it is a sign that he finds you attractive.
If he does find you attractive then he will likely show it in a number of different ways in his body language when he is around you.
These ways can include:
- Holding eye contact with you for longer than normal
- Having dilated pupils when he’s talking to you
- Pointing his feet towards you even when he’s not directly in front of you
- Adjusting his clothing or hair when he notices you
- Adjusting his crotch area when he’s around you
- Showing signs of nervousness when he is around you
- Showing signs of anxiety when you’re around other men
- Getting defensive when other men are around
- Asking your friends about you
- Touching you more than others
- Talking to you more than others
- Standing close to you
- Positioning himself to be near you
- A lack of negative signals such as squinting, pupil constriction or tightening the eyebrows
He’s being dominant
Sometimes, when a person is trying to emphasize their authority over others, they will touch them when talking to them or telling them to do something.
It could be the case that the guy squeezed your shoulders for dominating reasons.
If he was then it would be likely that he did it when telling you to do something or when he was talking to you with a very assertive tone.
It could be the case that he has a dominating personality and he is attracted to you. If that is the case then he would likely show a number of the signs of attraction mentioned above and he would likely show a number of the dominating signals below.
- Taking up lots of space
- Putting his hands and feet on things that aren’t his
- Positioning himself to be at the center of things
- Talking over people
- Interrupting people
- Touching people
- Tight lips
- Tensing the jaw
- Talking loudly
- Talking with a deeper voice
- Telling people to do things
He’s mirroring you
When a person is trying to fit in with a certain group of people he/she will often mirror their body language and behaviors.
If you tend to hang out with the same people and you have squeezed his shoulders in the past then it could be the case that he’s mirroring your own body language.
Mirroring can be a sign that he is attracted to you. If that is the case then he would likely show it in other ways in his body language as mentioned in the first section.
If he was mirroring you then he would likely mirror you in a number of other ways by doing things such as:
- Copying your facial gestures
- Copying your smile
- Speaking at a similar pitch and speed as you
- Touching you back when you touch him
- Standing and sitting in a similar way to you
- Mirroring your hand gestures
It could be the case that he is from a culture where it is normal for them to squeeze people’s shoulders.
Even if this is the case he might still have done it due to one of the other six reasons mentioned in this post. If he did then he would likely show it based on his body language and the timing of when he does it.
To emphasize what he’s saying
It could be the case that he squeezed your shoulders as a way to emphasize something that he was trying to say.
If he was then it would be likely that he was talking to you about something that he’s emotional about.
He would also likely have had wide-open eyes, an open mouth, he might have been leaning into you, talking loudly and quickly and he might have rushed over to tell you what he said.
He wants to be more than just friends
If he has been your friend for a while and he hasn’t squeezed your shoulders before then it would make it likely that he wants to be more than just friends.
If this is the case then he would probably have been showing other signs of attraction for a while that you haven’t picked up on.
Since he hasn’t overtly told you that he finds you attractive yet it would also be likely that he would show signs of nervousness when he’s around you.
He would also be more likely to get anxious when you’re with other men and to get defensive when other men are around.
He wants to see your reaction
It might be the case that he finds you attractive but he is unsure of whether or not you find him attractive.
This means that he might have squeezed your shoulders to see if you would respond in a positive or negative way.
Again it would be likely that he would show signs of attraction in his body language.
To make you feel better
He might have squeezed your shoulders because he was trying to cheer you up.
If this is why he did it then he likely would have done it when you were sad and you were showing signs of sadness in your body language.
Consider where and when he squeezed your shoulders
The timing and location of where he squeezed your shoulders would likely give you some clues as to why he did it.
If he did it after rushing over to tell you something then it would make it more likely that he was trying to tell you something shocking to him and that he was emphasizing what he was saying.
If he did it in a social setting and it seemed quite contrived then it would make it more likely that he was looking for an excuse to touch you because he finds you attractive.
Think about what his body language normally looks like
When trying to make sense of a guy’s body language it would be helpful to know what his body language normally looks like when he’s in a normal setting.
If he tends to squeeze other girls on the shoulders then it would suggest that he either has a more flirtatious or dominating personality but it wouldn’t necessarily mean that he squeezed your shoulders for any particular reason.
That is unless his body language changes when he’s around you.
If he doesn’t tend to squeeze other people on the shoulders then it would make it more likely that he did it to you for one of the reasons already mentioned. You would need to consider the context of how he did it and his body language to figure out why.
Consider your relationship with him
When trying to figure out why he squeezed your shoulders it would be helpful to consider what your relationship with him is like.
If you have been dating him for a while then it would be a possibility that he was trying to move the relationship to a more intimate stage.
If he has been your friend for a while then it could be that he wants more than just a friendship.
Consider his body language in terms of clusters
When trying to make sense of why he squeezed your shoulders it would be best to consider it alongside other body language signals that he was showing.
If he squeezed your shoulders while also showing numerous other signs of dominating behavior then it would make it more likely that he was being dominant.
Whereas if he was showing numerous signs of attraction then it would make it more likely that he was doing it due to being attracted to you.
If you want to learn more about body language, a book I would recommend would be The Definitive Book of Body Language (on Amazon). It shows you how to interpret body language and understand people's true intentions.