If you have recently noticed a guy staring at you when you’re not looking you’re probably wondering why he does it and what it might mean.
This post will try to help you figure out why he might stare at you when you’re not looking and to make sense of it as it happens in the future.
So why does he stare at you when you’re not looking? It could be that he is attracted to you but too nervous to talk to you which would be more likely if he only does it with you and he shows other signs of attraction around you. He could also be annoyed with you, think that you’re looking at him, have a habit of staring or he might not like you.
Since there are a number of reasons why a guy might stare at you when you’re not looking it is important to consider the context of how he does it and the body language signals that he shows.
By doing so you’ll be able to get a better idea of the motivations that he has behind doing it.
Possible reasons a guy will stare at you when you’re not looking
Each of the different reasons why a guy will stare at you when you’re not looking will likely come with a number of different clues in his body language.
Below, I will mention a number of reasons why a guy will stare at you when you’re not looking and the body language signals to look for with them.
He finds you attractive
If he has no reason to be mad at you and he doesn’t seem to stare at anyone else then there would be a good chance that he finds you attractive.
If he does find you attractive then it would be likely that he would show it in a number of other ways in his body language when he is around you.
These can include:
- Having dilated pupils when looking at you
- Positioning himself to be near you
- Standing close to you when talking to you
- Asking friends about you
- Showing signs of nervousness when talking to you
- Adjusting his clothing or hair when he notices you
- Getting anxious when you’re talking to other men
- Getting defensive when other men are around
- A lack of negative signals such as squinting, pupil constriction, crossing the arms or tightening the lips
- Pointing his feet at you even when he’s not directly talking to you
- Talking to you more than other people in the group
- Laughing and looking at you to see if you’re laughing
- Talking with a deeper voice than normal
- Touching you more than others in the group
- Blinking more than usual when talking to you
- Holding eye contact for longer than usual (known as mutual gazing)
- Quickly looking away or smiling when you notice him looking at you
He’s mad at you
It could actually be the case that he is mad at you.
In this case, you would likely have previously been friends with him or dating him and he likely would have started doing it after a particular event.
You might have said something he didn’t like, had an argument or gone out with someone he doesn’t like.
If he is mad at you he would likely show it in his body language in a number of ways.
They can include:
- Pupil constriction
- Pointing the feet away from you
- Crossing the arms and legs
- Moving away from you
- Tight lips
- Clenching the jaw
- Tightening the eyebrows
- Giving you short answers
- Avoiding talking to you
- Avoiding contact with you
If he does the above things when he notices you then it would be a much stronger indicator that he is mad at you.
If he tends to point his feet towards you and he doesn’t really seem to have constricted pupils it would suggest that he isn’t really mad at you.
He wants to be more than just friends
It could be the case that he has been your friend for a while but he actually wants to be more than just friends.
If this is the case then he would probably have been showing more signals of attraction when he’s around you but him glancing at you is the only one that you have picked up on.
If he does want to be more than friends then he would likely get slightly nervous around you since he hasn’t actually asked you out yet.
He wants to see if you’re into him
It could be the case that he finds you attractive but he is unsure of whether or not you are into him.
He might be looking at you when you’re not looking at him because he wants to see if you appear to be open towards him.
If that is the case then he would likely show a number of the signs of attraction already mentioned.
He would also be more likely to look at you and smile when you’re talking and to get anxious when talking to you since he wants to ask you out but he’s unsure of what you’ll say.
He tends to think and stare
It could just be the case that he tends to stare into the distance when he is thinking and it feels like he’s staring at you.
If that is what he is doing then he would likely have a neutral body language towards you and he would be less likely to react when you notice him doing it since he’s not actually looking at you.
He doesn’t like you
It could be the case that he doesn’t like you for some reason.
It could be that you hang out with a group of people that he doesn’t like, that he doesn’t agree with your views on things or that he doesn’t like something that you did.
If that is the case then he would likely show a number of the body language signals of being mad at you mentioned above.
He’s noticed you looking at him
The reason that he tends to stare at you when you’re not looking could be that he has noticed that you tend to stare at him.
If he has then he would likely be unsure of why you tend to look at him which could be making him feel self-conscious.
If he is then he would likely show signs of being anxious when he looks at you since he is unsure of himself when it happens.
Alternatively, he might think that you’re checking him out and he’s trying to see if you are.
He finds you to be interesting
The reason that he stares at you when you’re not looking could be that he finds something about you interesting.
It might be that he wants to hear your opinion on things, he wants to see how you’ll react to things or that he thinks that you have an interesting look.
If he does find you interesting then the timing of when he looks at you would likely appear to be less random. For example, he might only do it when you’re talking or when something happens that you might react to.
He finds you attractive but he’s not interested
It could be the case that he does find you attractive but he isn’t interested in pursuing you.
It could be that he has a girlfriend or that he isn’t looking for one.
If that is the case then he would likely show a number of the signs of attraction already mentioned. However, he would be less likely to get anxious when you’re with other men, to make plans with you or to get defensive when other men are around.
Consider his normal behavior
When trying to make sense of a guy’s body language it would be helpful to know what his normal body language looks like.
If he tends to stare at other people and he doesn’t change his body language when he looks at you then it would be less likely that he looks at you for any particular reason.
However, if you don’t notice that he tends to stare at other people and his body language tends to change when you’re around then it would make it a lot more likely that he does it due to one of the reasons already mentioned except for it being a habit.
It would be necessary for you to consider how his body language changes when he looks at you to figure out why he does it.
Consider where he does it
Thinking about the location that he tends to stare at you when your not looking in would also likely be of use.
If he tends to do it in an environment where you tend to be very vocal or where you draw a lot of attention to yourself then it would be more likely that he finds you interesting. That is unless his body language suggests otherwise.
If he tends to do it in an environment where you don’t typically draw much attention to yourself and he doesn’t seem to do it to others then it would be more likely that he finds you attractive or that he’s mad at you.
Consider when he does it
The timing of when he stares at you would also likely be something that would be of use to you.
If he only seems to do it when you are talking then he might just have a habit of staring at people when they’re talking.
However, if it seems to be the case that he does it at random times then it would be more likely that he finds you attractive.
Think about your relationship with him
The type of relationship that you have with him would also likely be something that would be useful to think about.
If you haven’t spoken to him before then it would be more likely that he either finds you attractive, interesting or that he doesn’t like you for some reason.
However, if you used to be friends with him and then you suddenly stopped hanging out together then it would be more likely that he is unsure of why you stopped hanging out with him or that he is mad at you.
If you want to learn more about body language, a book I would recommend would be The Definitive Book of Body Language (on Amazon). It shows you how to interpret body language and understand people's true intentions.